matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
You had me at "let me see your balls"
Randomize
