I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Randomize
