I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
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