I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
Randomize
