he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
high people should be assigned attendants
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
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