JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
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