I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
never play flip cup with pint glasses
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
Randomize
