I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
