oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
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