marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
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