What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
tonight lets celebrate not being married
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
I just blew my weed a kiss
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
Randomize
