y did u give ur computer a hand job?
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
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