these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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