38 yer olds are good kisserssss
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
Randomize
