i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
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