i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
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