8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
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