Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
Randomize
