Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
Church boner. Awkwardddd
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
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