fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
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