i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
I just gift wrapped bread.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Randomize
