what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
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