I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
Dick very happy bro
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Randomize
