Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
