I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
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