We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
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