Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
Randomize
