We're like a lot better than the average bears
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize