The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
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