It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Randomize
