is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
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