Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Randomize