When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Randomize
