420 ftw
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Randomize
