So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize