I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
