I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
Randomize
