Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
Randomize
