Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
