i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Randomize
