Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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