We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
