I love black thongs
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Randomize
