So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
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