her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
I am one with the molecules
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
Randomize
