I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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