who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize
