what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Randomize