Hey man sorry I got all grabby
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
