So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
So here I am, sexting at work.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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