Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize
