I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
