i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
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