I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
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