I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
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