Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
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