um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
