If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
