More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
