is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
Randomize
