Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
Randomize
