it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
Randomize
