its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
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