STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
Randomize
