The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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