youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
Randomize
