just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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