Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
