Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
