A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Randomize
