I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize