Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
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