Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
Randomize
