Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
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